


I Need Your Touch

by goresmores



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Lance, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Omega Shiro, Touch Starved Shiro, Unhealthy fixations, Unresolved Ending, beta hunk, mentions of mpreg, vaguely canon compliant, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 19:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11858472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goresmores/pseuds/goresmores
Summary: During his imprisonment, Shiro's omega instincts start to go crazy as he's deprived of affection and touch, and upon his escape, he becomes fixated on Lance. He's an alpha, and he's everything Shiro thinks he needs. But there are some issues.





	I Need Your Touch

**Author's Note:**

> So, just as a warning here: if you heavily relate to Lance or stan Lance to a degree where you're uncomfortable with his character flaws being highlighted, there's a chance you're not going to like this fic. that said, this isn't some "lance is bad blah blah blah" fic―no, this is just, he's a good guy but he has a number of flaws that can make him difficult to get along with at times, and that's plainly stated in the fic itself. though, i can admit that my impression of him could be incorrect.
> 
> I've been having issues with someone who has a personality similar to his in a number of ways and though this fic was originally supposed to be a polyamorous relationship between the three characters, over time it devolved into shunk w/ unrequited shance due to my own venting in Lance's direction.
> 
> On the other hand!! if you'd rather read some fics where Lance is part of the main relationship, i have a number of other Lance/[character] fics ive written with a whole lot less of what i've got going on here, so you can check those out if you want!
> 
> last thing i have to say is: my timing is off and i tend to stray from canon where it benefits the story, hence the "vaguely canon compliant" tag so if something seems weird or wrong about my timestamps (?) n shit, thats what thats about. im gay and time is a weakness please send hel p

_Alpha._

_Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha_

  
It was a continuous mantra in Shiro’s head sometimes, after particularly bad battles in the arena.

They were all bad, but some were worse.

Some left him feeling empty inside, maybe an edge of accomplishment, but empty. That was the better feeling.

Others left him exhausted and as soon as he was returned to his cell, he collapsed into a dreamless sleep. He didn’t mind that as much either.

But sometimes he was brought to tears, he would fall to the ground and sob with his own arms wrapped around himself, wishing the arms weren’t his own, but his alpha’s wrapped around him, soothing him with their scent and just being an alpha. Nothing special. Just the calm and the love and the warmth of a bond between an alpha and an omega. That’s all he wanted.

He was tired of fighting, he didn’t want to kill and maim; he wanted peace and family.

But what were the chances of getting _that_ out here? On this ship? In that arena?

Slim to none.

It only made him sob harder.

No nuzzling or being nuzzled. No curling around each other and inhaling each other’s scents. No marking and mating and bonding and feeling like he belonged.

Only fighting and isolation. Distance and wanting, longing for contact he’d never get. Only making more enemies by the day―more than he could keep track of―and an unsatisfying death as soon as he slipped up enough to give the nearest one an opening on him.

He held himself tighter and the flow of tears kept coming.

Shiro had never really thought much about pups; didn't really ever see himself getting pregnant. It could happen, but then again, maybe not. But now he didn't know if he could have pups. The stress from everything that'd happened to him up until this point could be fucking over reproductive system every second. He didn’t really know, in part because he’d spent so much time learning about space that he’d neglected the finer parts of biology. How did stress affect the body in terms of pregnancy? It’s bad if you’re pregnant, but otherwise?

And the cherry on top was, he’d never know.

It was one thing to decide you didn't want them, but it was another to have not really made up your mind, or figured not right now but maybe one day, only to find out they weren’t an option.

God, was he stressed. He felt like he'd never _not_ be stressed. 

He at least wanted _that_ part of himself in tact. It wasn't about the pups, not when he boiled it down… It was about not letting the Galra take something else from him.

Shiro's breath hitched and he accidentally inhaled some of his own spit and tears with a choke, and he had to sit up to hack his throat clear. That what was turned off the faucet behind his eyes and he leaned against the wall.

He felt like he'd cried for hours, and now he was just depressed, exhausted and emptier than ever before.

He was weak. “Champion”, as he was called, inferred otherwise, but sobbing like this? It felt like weakness. Crumbling him from the inside out. If he wasn’t careful, he’d cave.

Shiro pulled his knees to his chest and closed his eyes.

His crew, his home, his arm, his freedom, his mental stability. They'd taken it all.

He couldn't let them take his potential pups too.

  


* * *

  


After months of the same shit, he’d given up hope that the Garrison would send anyone out to save him and his crew. Didn’t even know if they _could_. There was a chance that if even _Shiro_ didn’t know where they were, the Garrison wouldn’t either.

The only mercy he got on that ship before he able to escape was the fact that the implant the Garrison had given him kept him from having any heats, otherwise he couldn’t imagine what would have happened.

Would they have sent him out to fight anyway? Would he have died if they had? Would he have been able to fight despite the crippling heat and physical weakness that would no doubt be handicapping him?

Would he have given in to any Galra who dared to touch and come near him just because of his need?

He shuddered when he thought of it, but sometimes the train of thought was unavoidable. There was a lot to reflect on when it came to his time as a prisoner.

But thanks to Ulaz, he got away. Not unscathed, but Shiro was thankful for what he got. This is, a second chance.

So after a year on that godforsaken prison ship, Shiro got away and made it back to Earth, only to meet further hardship as he crash landed and was strapped down by the Garrison staff.

They wouldn’t listen to him, were putting him under.

And then the world was dark.

  


* * *

  


When he’d come to, Shiro was in what was obviously a shack.

Quickly taking in the room, he realized a few things immediately:

1\. He really only knew 1 out of the 4 other people in the room  
2\. There were 2 alphas and 2 betas among them  
3\. He was apparently extra sensitive to smells now  
4\. _Keith_

Shiro sat up and groaned, head clogged with drug-induced fog.

“Shiro!” Keith ran to his side and knelt.

Shiro had to pointedly distance himself to keep from burying his face into Keith’s neck and inhaling his scent.

While Keith was an alpha, and someone he was close to, it felt inappropriate. That, and paired with the fact that he didn’t really want to do anything stupid with so many eyes on him.

“Hey, Keith.” He smiled, anxious and guilty. It’d been a year and this is what had become of the both of them; Shiro, a missing arm and his mental health in the shitter, while Keith had ended up in a desert shack. Still, he hugged his friend, careful not to breath for the duration before he pulled back to safely inhale the weaker smell of the shack air. 

Weaker, but not by much, given the oversensitivity of his nose.

Moving on, Keith explained how he’d ended up here and why, and what the board with all the pictures strings and graphing meant.

They weren’t exactly in the best situation, all things considered, but here was a lot better than on that medical table.

“I should thank you all for getting me out.” He vaguely recalled the name and face of the tanned teen directly in front of him. Shiro stepped forward and reached out to shake his hand. “Lance, right?” The alpha uncrossed his arms to hesitantly shake his hand, eyes flitting down and mind registering the fact that Shiro’s right arm was no longer flesh and bone, but instead, a prosthetic made from Galra tech. But his eyes made their way back to Shiro’s and he smiled, which made Shiro’s heart flutter.

He turned his head and body towards the other two, the betas, to meet them, but his gaze flicked back to Lance, taking him in.

“The nervous guy’s Hunk. I’m Pidge.” They shook hands. “So, did anyone else from your crew make it out?”

Guilt seeped into Shiro’s features as the question. He didn’t remember. He was almost glad he didn’t, but at the same time, he wished he could give an answer. Instead, all he could tell them was what he _did_ remember, and unfortunately, it wasn’t much.

It _was_ enough, however, to get them moving. 

That was what got them from the inside of that shack all the way to planet Arus, and face to face with Princess Allura.

It was a long day.

While Shiro was, in a way, genuinely looking forward to being a defender of the universe along-side his newfound friends, it was also a long day. A long day that felt like it promised to have even more long days ahead, and that made Shiro a bit afraid.

Today had been okay. There’d been reprieve from everything he’d been feeling. It was new and good, but there was only so long someone could take something before it got old.

New and old problems alike would start to seep in again and it’d leave him tired. Tired and empty and stressed, just like before.

He shifted his thoughts away from that.

His mind settled on Lance.

He was… not what Shiro expected. Which was weird, considering Shiro didn’t really have any expectations for him.

The blue paladin had gone from more calm and sassy at first, to loud, flirty and almost as reckless as Keith was known to be. He was… definitely a character.

He was also an alpha.

Shiro felt gross, being so fixated, but he almost couldn’t help it. He wanted an alpha so badly. Wanted to submit and feel safe and loved and Lance could _be_ that for him.

He couldn’t force himself to want him, he didn’t want to want him just because he was what Shiro was looking for, either. It had to be natural. It had to be real. He _wanted_ it to be real, if it would be.

Shiro rolled over and willed his brain to shut up.

Stupid and needy and sensitive. He was a leader and a pilot first and foremost, and an omega second. He needed to remember that. He needed to make it his mantra. No wanting an alpha. Just wanting the universe to be safe and free of Zarkon’s tyrannical reign.

Yeah.

It took him a long time, but eventually, he was able to sleep.

  


* * *

  


The next morning, Shiro was up early doing push ups.

Time was still weird and didn’t function really as a day-by-day in space, but he knew it was early because no one else was awake yet.

The only thing that alerted him to awakened crew was the sudden sound of the alarm and Allura’s voice over the speaker announcing, “Everybody up! Zarkon’s attacking!” To which Shiro responded to by quickly shifting from his push up position to running out the door and towards the bridge of the castleship.

Once he was there, he got to see her (and soon after, Coran) continue to yell over the speaker until everyone had shown up, save for Lance.

Allura questioned this as she reprimanded everyone for taking too long to reach her, along with being out of uniform. 

“And where is Lance?”

No sooner had she said that had he come in through the bridge door, face shining, body adorned comfortably by his robe and a glass and _something_ in hand.

He yawned. “Good mornin’ everybody. What’s goin’ on?”

“Coran and I have been up for hours getting the castle back in order. We had to run a test on the alarms and we decided to test you as well. Guess which one failed,” she said, stern.

“Hey,” Hunk was interrupted by his own yawn, “You got to sleep for 10,000 years, man. Monday night, I was on Earth. Now I’ve flown through space, fought some evil alien named Zarkon, eaten goo in some weird castle, that’s a lot to process in uh.... I don’t know. What day is today?” He scratched his face.

Coran supplied him with, “It’s the third quintant of the Spicolian movement! Hump day!”

“It’s a lot to process,” Hunk repeated, unamused and information unhelpful to him.

Well, he was right. That’s what Shiro had been thinking just a sleep ago.

Allura explained the stakes of their mission, how Earth was in danger of being taken over by Zarkon just like so many others had already.

It easily sunk in how bad that would be.

“The Princess is right. Let’s get to our lions and start training.”

They needed to form Voltron.

  


* * *

  


In, out, in and out.

First they tried to form Voltron. That didn’t work, so they moved inside to the training deck where they failed yet again at protecting one another from enemy fire. Then they were back outside to see about being able to see through their lions, which was just another failure and proved to be irritating when Lance made it a competition between them and Keith took him up on it, naturally competitive as he was, rather than truly focusing on the goal at hand. And finally, they were brought back inside, exhausted, hungry and irritable from lack of sleep, paired with the numerous failures of today’s training.

It wasn’t any better when eating itself became another training exercise because it made it difficult and only further soured everyone’s mood.

“Do Earthlings _ever_ stop complaining?” Allura asked, sitting at the head of the table and very obviously irked.

Shiro was angry. Maybe even pissed, honestly.

They could only take so much and the past 2 days hadn’t been the easiest for anyone.

“Can’t you give us a break? Everyone’s been working really hard today.”

“Yeah!” Keith spoke up, two paladins away from him. “We’re not some prisoners for you to toy with, like… like…”

Lance spoke up to aid him, “Like a bunch of toy prisoners!” He raised his fist in the air.

“Yes! Thank you, Lance!”

It made Shiro’s chest swell with pride to see them working together to stick it to Allura.

“You do not speak that way to the princess!” Coran’s voice was faux deep and it only further irritated Shiro.

“Oh the princess of _what_? We’re the only ones out here and she’s no princess of ours!”

In defense of herself, and probably just out of pure irritation, Allura flung a spoonful of goo at Pidge.

What happened next warmed Shiro’s heart.

It turned into an all-out foodfight after Keith’s commanding, “Go loose, Pidge!”

By the end, everyone was laughing and a good sense of teamwork had settled between them. Shiro turned to see everyone’s faces and his chest fluttered with pure elation when he saw Lance’s smiling face, eyes closed with happiness, and he caught Keith’s gaze, mouth open wide with a big smile.

“Enough! Don’t you see what you’re doing?” Allura yelled, cutting through the lightened up atmosphere with tension.

Everyone stopped and looked at her, confusion evident.

“You’re finally working together as one!”

“Hey, she’s right!”

“I actually don’t hate you right now,” Lance agreed, in his own way.

“You guys thinking what I’m thinking?” Hunk prompted.

Shiro turned to them, confirming it with, “Let’s go form Voltron!”

And save for the minor bump in the road caused by them all tripping and falling to the floor in a heap of knocked over chairs and collapsed bodied, they did it.

They were able to form Voltron.

  


* * *

  


There was hardly any rest to be had.

Immediately after another training session, Lance and Keith were fighting with each other again, which prompted Shiro to have to scold them.

It left Shiro conflicted, to say the least. Which might be good, actually.

Lance was an alpha, sure, but not a very responsible one. Not to mention he made it a habit of butting heads with the only other alpha on the ship, which didn’t prove to be that great either, but maybe that was just a dynamic thing?

Lance could easily just be showing off to everyone that he was more dominant than Keith with the fighting. Well, save for the fact that he was pretty bad at knocking Keith down any of the necessary pegs.

His frustration was evident when it came to Keith, and it had a quality to it Shiro couldn't read, considering his lack of insight.

He's thinking too much about Lance again, he realized. 

Awkward and gross as it was, he was thankful for Coran’s distraction in trying to feed him the “traditional paladin lunch” before he eased his way out and went to talk to the prisoners.

He found out from them he was a gladiator in an arena, known as “Champion”.

He went with Pidge to see about data logs on the prisoners from the crash landed ship and all too quickly came the call to once again form Voltron.

They had a brutal fight with Myzax and though they won, the night ended on a party to celebrate their victory with the Arusians.

A party was all well and good, except for the fact that Pidge had decided on her own she would be leaving Voltron to look for her family. And the fact that they were attacked by enemy Galra in the form of an explosion, which rocked the castle and caused mass panic among the Arusians.

The paladins and the princess ran to the source of the explosion only to find Coran on the ground and Lance the same, only he was badly injured, unlike Coran who was at least able to stand, albeit with help.

Shiro ran to his side and held his head in his arms. “Lance? Lance!”

Lance only groaned weakly in his arms.

“We have to get Lance to the infirmary!”

“Without the crystal the castle has no power!” Allura said, only adding to the anxiety of the situation.

“He doesn’t look good.”

The chief Arusian ran in to announce an attack on their village, but there was no way to get to their lions without power.

“Will you not help us?!”

“We will,” Keith assured him, “We just—” Lance let out another weak groan and silence fell over the group.

“This is bad.”

Everyone split up to ease the effort.

Hunk and Coran went to take Pidge’s pod to get a Balmeran Crystal, and Pidge went to help them with the pod. Keith and Allura ran off to help the Arusians and Shiro offered to stay with Lance and keep watch on the castle.

As they ran off, he looked down at Lance. Yeah, this was definitely bad.

Shiro needed to move him somewhere safer, so he picked up the blue paladin and put him carefully over his shoulder.

He was so light. So lanky… And his smell. It was battered down by the scents of the explosion but it was there. Proof that Lance's very essence was intertwined with the ocean; fresh and salty and unmistakably _warm_. 

Nope, focus Shiro.

“Hang on buddy. Help is on the way.” He assured his unconscious friend.

But just as soon as he’d said that, he realized there was an enemy standing in the doorway to the castle. Shiro backed away as he realized just who it was. 

“Sendak.”

Shiro gently laid Lance down on the nearest flat surface and dashed off to meet his enemy far away from his injured teammate.

Standing in front of the Galra, he was commanded to “Stand aside.”

No way.

No _fucking_ way, rather.

“No. You’re not getting in.” He’d protect Lance with his life. Fuck Sendak.

“Yes, I am.” And he tossed his prosthetic arm forward to grab Shiro.

He was dragged, punch at, and tossed back to his point of origin: beside Lance. This was bad for so many reasons, and sure enough, Sendak’s giant metal hand came crashing down, kicking up rocky debris and dust.

Thankfully in the ruckus, they skipped over Lance, but Shiro counted his blessings too quickly.

As quickly as it took for Sendak and himself to stalemate, weapons at each others’ throats, Sendak’s companion had grabbed Lance and tossed him onto the floor.

“Let him go or your friend won’t make it.”

Shiro had made a mistake in looking away from Sendak, and he paid the price for it when a hit that tossed him across the room, unconscious before he could even realize he’d landed beside Lance.

  


* * *

  


Once Lance was safely in the healing pod, Shiro was relieved.

Pidge decided she was going to stay, and tension drained from Shiro’s shoulders.

  


* * *

  


Everyone was crowded outside of Lance’s healing pod, checking up on him, and most obviously, waiting for him to wake up.

“I can’t tell if he’s healthy or not.”

Pidge had her face smushed up against the glass. “I think he’s breathing weird.”

“Oh come on!” Keith went to try to open the pod but Allura told him to wait a few more ‘ticks’.

“How much better do you think he’s gonna get in a few more ‘ticks’?” Keith pouted, crossing his arms.

“What exactly is a tick?”

Allura supplied Pidge with, “You know, a time slice.”

“Like a second?” Shiro asked, becoming invested in the conversation at hand.

“What is a ‘second’?”

“Like this!” Pidge said, pulling out a timer, climbing up by seconds.

Allura looked at it. “I’m not sure. I think ticks are bigger. Coran, do you have a ticker?”

Coran and Pidge started their timers to see which one was longer and no one noticed when Lance had woken up until he said, “You guys havin’ a clock party?”

“Aw, Lance, you just ruined it.” Realization settled in. “Hey, Lance!” Hunk pulled his friend into a big hug.

Lance grunted with the force of the hug and Hunk let him go.

“What happened?”

Allura patted him on the back. “We can tell you all about it while you get something to eat. Are you able to walk?”

Tired, Lance’s gaze flicked over to her. “Talking? Eating? Are you asking me out on a date?”

Hunk and Allura sighed.

“Yep, he’s okay.” Shiro felt a mild pang of wrongly placed jealousy.

“Classic,” Keith agreed.

  


* * *

  


More than a week later, Nyma, Rolo and Balmera issues come and gone, and Shiro was still hung up on the explosion.

The knowledge that Lance had taken the worst of the attack for Coran made Shiro’s omega side go wild.

_He’ll protect you, he’ll treasure you enough to possibly die for you. He’s perfect, he’s perfect, he’s―_

But he’s _not_.

Lance _isn’t_ perfect.

Not by any means.

But God, Shiro was practically thumping his leg with need, and he could only hope Lance would never, ever notice.

  


_Leader first, pilot second, omega third. Leader first, pilot second, omega third._

  


He repeated it to himself, over and over.

What was weird, though, was that Lance seemed to have an aversion to him.

Keith would seek him out because of their history and long-standing friendship, Hunk would talk to him sometimes, and he was probably the closest to Pidge from her perspective, considering he was the only one who knew she was actually Katie, not to mention their shared connections between their lost family and crew respectively, but Lance just… didn’t really say much to him other than when they were all in a group.

In a desperate attempt for validation, Shiro sought out Hunk, who was doing something or other with some parts in the workshop.

“Hey, Hunk?”

Hunk spared him a glance before he pulled down his goggles. “Yeah, Shiro?” He got back to work.

“Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you know anything about Lance?”

“Yeah, we’re buds! Anything specific?” Hunk was twisting something into place, and Shiro could see his arm muscles bulge with the effort to twist it.

“Uh, yeah…” Shiro scratched the back of his head lightly, eyes diverting quickly from the beta’s arms as his face heated up, “Does he not like me or something?”

Hunk accidentally clanked his wrench against a big chunk of metal as he pulled away. “Does he not like you? Pffftt. What kind of question is that, dude? He totally looks up to you. You were his hero back at the Garrison.”

Oh. Shiro’s eyes flicked back over to meet Hunk’s. “Were?”

The yellow paladin shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know. We’re kind of a team now. He knows you better than just that distant idolization of a hero, you know? I’m pretty sure he still looks up to you, though. Why don’t you try talking to him?”

Shiro considered this.

“Yeah, okay. I will. Thanks, Hunk!” He waved goodbye and headed out, still in earshot to hear Hunk call out,

“Any time, dude!”

In the hallway, though, he sighed.

Yeah, like hell was he searching out the alpha of his unfortunate affections. The last thing he needed was to be in too close of quarters with him without the betas there to dilute his scent.

So, instead, Shiro went back to his room to digest the new information.

  


* * *

  


Once Shiro left, Lance came out of hiding. 

“Dude are you seriously avoiding Shiro?”

“Uh, yeah! I'm not an idiot! As soon as we're alone together I'm gonna make myself look like an idiot in front of him. I'm pretty sure I already have, if he's noticed I've been flirting with the him.”

Hunk groaned. “That's right, the dominance displays. Is that why you keep flirting with Allura?”

Lance crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. “Yeah. I don't want him to think too much about it. I'm a loser, dude, what kind of self-respecting omega would want me?”

“Hey,” Hunk said, stern, “No, man, you're great. You'd be a great alpha! You love people and you'd love your mate to death in the best way. If Shiro can't see that then you don't need him in your life. Like, sure you can be kind of immature about things, and you’re kind of a jerk sometimes―no offense―but it’s something you’re working on, right?” Normally Hunk would have held his tongue in regards to the bits about Lance being a jerk, and his immaturity, but it was best if he was aware of how he came across to people in context of dating.

He flinched a little at Hunk’s brutal honesty. “Well, I'm trying…”

“Exactly! And you'll get there! But when it comes to nurturing people, you're a great dude. But don't let the room you need to grow keep you from reaching out? Part of being around and talking to people is that they help better you.”

Lance considered this. “Do you think Shiro's maturity would rub off on me?”

“Yeah man.”

“Sweet!” He allowed himself a tiny waist-level fist pump.

Lance really wanted to become better, not just for Shiro, but for himself, and for Hunk. Those were some of the people he cared the most about out here. He was tired of feeling inferior to Keith, but he wasn't sure how to really _do_ that, hence the petty squabbling for dominance. It hurt his alpha pride to have been constantly put down in front of his classmates, and then to feel like he couldn't prove himself in such a limited environment like the castleship? That was just sad.

Sad, but frustrating. It was incentive for Lance to try harder to become better, and he _would_.

Step 1, talk to Shiro, probably, instead of the avoiding him like he'd been doing so far. He had to establish himself as unafraid.

Shiro wasn't some big bad upper-level dude. He was just a guy, and he was a guy Lance wanted to get to know better, no biggie.

Lance said goodbye to Hunk and ran off to go find Shiro.

It was a bit hard to find him, though. Lance didn't exactly know where Shiro made it a habit of hanging out, so he was crapshooting with every doorway he poked his head into until he found the one: the empty bridge of the ship, with its wide view of the stars outside.

He was hugging himself and gazing outside the glass, body tight and posture stiff.

The dude looked hella depressed.

Lance just watched him for awhile, noting how the big space of the room meant Shiro's scent hardly affected the otherwise cold and empty smelling air. And his size. Shiro always looked so big, but with the window being so huge, and the room so empty, he looked smaller than usual.

It made Lance was to curl around him.

At last, though, Shiro turned around.

“Did you need something?” He didn't seem mad that Lance was there, or even surprised, so he must have known Lance was there the entire time.

Had it been the door or his footsteps? Lance hadn't given those factors a second thought after he spotted Shiro, too immersed in taking in the form of his leader.

“Uh… I just wanted to. You know, talk. Or uh. Something.” Lance mentally cursed himself as he winced.

'Just a guy’. Yeah, right. He was still someone Lance had spent so long looking up to, and newfound romantic feelings or not, that didn't change the fact he was super anxious about being face-to-face with him.

Shiro's expression lightened a bit, but he still looked anxious himself. “What about?” He looked around. “I'd offer you a seat but there isn't one.” He smiled a little at himself, but it didn't meet his eyes.

Lance had drawn a blank. He was caught looking into Shiro's eyes, all grey like smoke and glittery in a sad way. Almost like in a he-might-cry way, honestly.

Words, words, he needed _words_!

“Do you have any scars?” He blurted, and Lance slapped both hands over his mouth.

Shiro's eyebrows knit together in mild offense.

“I'm sorry! I swear I didn't mean to say that, I panicked!” Lance dropped his hands and clenched them into fists at his sides. “I guess I asked because I… I think I have one? But I don't know I've… been to afraid to ask anyone, I guess... And it just sort of came out. That too… Sorry.” 

Lance looked down at the floor, ashamed of himself.

“Do you want me to check?” 

That prompted Lance to look up. “Uhm, not really? But also… yeah. My back feels weird? Like, it doesn't hurt―kudos to the healing pod, I guess―but I wanna know for sure?”

Shiro nodded and made his way closer.

“Well, I do, since you asked.” Shiro's hands went to the hem of his shirt. He hesitated for a minute before he lifted his shirt to reveal a number of scars of all sorts, some obviously made by knives and swords, and some by more jagged weapons―if not alien claws of some kind―all over his stomach and reaching up towards his chest, which was still largely covered by the cloth of his clothing.

“Can I… can I touch?” Lance asked, glancing up at Shiro from his crouched inspecting position.

Shiro blushed and looked away, “Uh, sure.”

With the granted permission, Lance lifted a hand to Shiro's torso and lightly touched at the paled, scarred skin.

It was a weird combination of smooth and jagged, skin raised a little puffy.

Lance had to keep himself from saying anything stupid―or worse, like how there are so many, and shit like that―as his fingers continuing to brush over Shiro's skin.

Above him, the black paladin cleared his throat. “Uhm, you wanted me to check your back?”

Right, too long. That must have been awkward.

“Yeah, upper back.”

Lance took off his jacket and tossed it onto the floor so he could cross his arms over to pull up his shirt, raising it to his shoulders so that his upper back was exposed but his nips were comfortably covered.

“Is there one?” He kind of knew there _was_ one, there _had_ to be, but he needed confirmation on it anyway, and maybe get a sense of scale.

“Yeah,” Shiro confirmed. “Do you want me to touch yours?” His voice was more serious than Lance wished it would be.

“Yeah man, I touch your scars, you touch mine.” He smiled back at Shiro over his shoulder, and Shiro gave him a look that said he got the joke, but also that he was sad it was a joke between them.

Still, though, Shiro's metal fingers met Lance's skin, and Lance was surprised that it wasn't cold.

“Touch the outline, I wanna know how big it is.”

Shiro's fingers went from near the base of Lance's neck, towards his shoulder blades and just below the hill of actual shoulder and down, down to just about midway down his back and back up.

So, it was round. And judging by the way Shiro was tracing, jagged. Or if you wanted a simpler way to put it: ugly.

No, wait. If he called his own scar ugly, in an indirect way, he was calling Shiro's scars ugly, and he wouldn't. Nothing about Shiro was ugly.

“From the explosion?”

“Yeah… it burned like hell.”

Shiro's fingers kept tracing over the whole of it, filling it in with his touch, and Lance shivered. Having someone touch him like this… well, it was cold, 'cause the stupid ship was freezing, but more than that, it was intimate. Like, crazy intimate.

He almost didn't want it stop, because it different, it was… nice.

Lance peeked over his shoulder again, and Shiro seemed to be in a trance, fingers skating gently across the burned skin of Lance's back.

This was okay, he decided. And so he stood there, for as long as he could, hunched over while Shiro caressed his skin with the pads of his fingers.

Finally, when his knees were wobbly with the effort of holding himself up, and his back and neck hurt from the hunched position, Lance straightened himself up and Shiro's fingers fell away, trance apparently over now.

“Shiro?”

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat after his voice cracked, “I don't know what came over me.”

Lance put out a hand to placate him, no real intention of touching Shiro because he wasn't sure if it was okay, and he assured him, “No, it's really okay. I don't mind. If it was weird I would have asked you to stop. Really, don't worry about it, okay?”

Shiro nodded, but he looked like he was going to worry about it anyway.

“Shiro… are you okay?”

His leader tensed and nodded, short and jerky.

Lance didn't really believe him, all things considered, but it wasn't his place to press, either, so he accepted Shiro's answer.

“Well, uh, don't be a stranger, dude. Hit me and everyone else up every once in a while, yeah?”

Shiro nodded again, smiling with those same sad puppy dog eyes.

“Cool. Well, I'll see you around.” And with that, Lance left the bridge.

  


* * *

  


Shiro curled up on his bed and cursed himself.

He'd totally blanked back there, lost in Lance's scent, the softness of his skin, the feeling of the rhythmic circles his fingertips made against it.

God, that was exactly what he hadn't wanted. Well, not _that_ exactly, but the awkward intimacy of whatever _that_ was. His brain had went on autopilot, and despite the guilt, he couldn't feel that bad about it.

He honestly felt a calm settle over him, then, and even now.

The pads of his fingers tingled with the memory and he pulled his hand to his chest.

He took a deep breath in, held it for a reasonable amount of time before he breathed back out, tension partially seeping from his body.

He wanted Lance to spoon him and toss a leg over his waist and bury his face in Shiro’s neck.

Shiro whined into his pillow, arm extending to pull his blanket over his body and up to his chin. His fists curled the blanket under his face and he squeezed his eyes shut, begging for sleep.

  


* * *

  


When Shiro woke up, he had Hunk at the side of his bed. 

“Shiro?”

Shiro sat up abruptly, body shaking and skin clammy with sweat.

“What are you doing here?” Dumb question. He knew by now.

“You were freaking out in your sleep, we could hear you. Shouting, groaning… are you okay?”

“Nightmare. It was a nightmare.”

Hunk got more comfortable on the floor. “Well, yeah, I could tell, but are you _okay_? Do you wanna talk about it, buddy?”

Shiro looked away, fists clenching his sheets.

No. Not really.

But he _should_.

He decided to let himself have this one.

“Are you the only one here?”

Hunk shook his head, questioning expression. “No, Keith is outside. He didn't wanna come in because this is your room and he's an alpha. Especially if you're panicking. Dynamic stuff.”

Shiro nodded. “Tell him I'm fine, but you can stay. I do wanna talk…”

Hunk nodded and went to the door, which slid open at the press of the button beside it.

He couldn't hear what was said, because Hunk was whispering, but soon enough, the door slid shut again and Hunk made his way back over to Shiro's side.

“You can sit on the bed, Hunk.”

“Oh! Okay!” He lifted from his place on the floor and sat beside Shiro. “So, nightmare?”

Shiro took in a deep breath. “Yeah, uhm…” He twitched nervously, unsure of how to proceed. “Back when I was a prisoner, there was this area they had me fight in... In the nightmare I was going up against this alien who was way bigger than me, and he had a huge weapon to boot and…” he was still shaking. Shit. He swallowed and kept going, “It was an intense battle. I almost died that day. From _his_ perspective it was just a graze, but it was more than that. The sword it… it almost cut into my heart. Luckily―if you can really even call it that―it was just a big gnash in the skin across it when the battle was all said and done, but if that sword had pierced any deeper― _fuck_! I would have _died_.”

Tears slipped down his face and Hunk looked at him, panicked.

“Do you―Can I hug you?” He asked, tiny.

Shiro nodded before he could even think about it and Hunk's thick, muscular arms wrapped around him.

Shiro hugged him back, far tighter than Hunk's own hug was, but he needed this. He needed it _so_ bad. He really regretted saying anything about his trauma, but this almost made it worth it.

It helped a lot. In Hunk's arms, the shaking subsided after a while, and Shiro's tensed body slumped all once with the release of tension.

Hunk rubbed circles into his back with his big hand, and Shiro shivered a little, body starved for affection and jittery with the excitement of getting what he wanted. Maybe even what he _needed_ , at this point.

They stayed like that for a good while. Long enough that Shiro's body stopped with the jittery feeling and he could properly relax in Hunk's arms.

“You're warm.” His head was a foggy rush of contentment and endorphins, and when the thought came to mind, he didn't bother to hold it back.

Hunk chuckled, “Being big will do that.”

Part of him was afraid to do much more than hug Hunk back, but Shiro turned his head to Hunk's scent gland and inhaled through his nose.

Betas have a muted, neutral smells, but ones just strong enough to offset the scents of alphas and omegas. It was good for public situations, so that if someone walked into a room they wouldn't be punched in the face by scent, but would instead get a much milder version; the best example of it being the smell of a room with baking cookies vs. the smell of the room after the cookies had been taken out of the oven and left to cool. It still smells like fresh baked cookies, but it's not as strong or as obvious as it was while they were baking. Muted, and warm.

Hunk’s scent wasn't calming like an alphas would be, but it was enough for him. Hunk was still calming, trustworthy contact, and Shiro nuzzled into his neck just to nuzzle.

Hunk stiffened and Shiro’s chest fluttered with panic. He rushed to pull away but Hunk held firmly onto his upper arms.

“Shiro. Shiro! It's okay!” He squeezed at the muscles of his arms, grip strong enough to keep Shiro steady but just light enough that if he were truly panicked, he could remove himself. Taking on a hushed and slow way of speaking, Hunk continued. “It's not rejection, you just caught me off guard, okay? You're okay.”

Shiro looked into Hunk's big brown eyes and saw the honesty in them.

Okay. It was okay.

Hunk pulled him close again and waited for the tension to leave Shiro's body once more, rubbing more circles into his back and legs spread on the bed to enclose the omega against him, not to trap, but as a protective gesture.

Using his strength, Hunk moved Shiro around so that he was being cradled by Hunk's arms and lap like a really big, muscular baby, and he nuzzled back at Shiro to reaffirm that it was okay.

Quickly, it turned into an outright nuzzle session, cheeks brushing against cheeks, necks, the brush of Hunk's hair and the rougher brush of Shiro's buzzcut―it went on like that for a long time.

When they tired out, Shiro slumped in Hunk's arms and sighed, content but exhausted.

It was quiet for a long time, aside from the hum of the ship at work.

Eventually Hunk said, “I would ask if you want me to leave, but to be really honest with you, I don't think that's a good idea. To leave you alone, I mean.”

Shiro lazily let his head loll so that he faced Hunk. “To be really honest with you, I don't want you to leave anyway. It's really pathetic, but I don't want to be alone right now.”

Hunk let a hand trail soothingly down Shiro's side, “That's not pathetic. You're touch starved and you've got a bad case of PTSD. There's nothing pathetic about that or needing help for it either.” He nuzzled Shiro's cheek with his nose, and Shiro rolled out of his lap so they could adjust themselves into a spooning position, Shiro gratefully the small spoon.

With Hunk's heat at his back and arm wrapped around him, Shiro fell asleep somewhat quicker than usual, and he was thankful for the yellow paladin.

  


* * *

  


It became a thing.

Outside of their rooms, Hunk and Shiro wouldn't really do much other than the usual.

A few times they managed to sneak a hand squeeze, or a nuzzle when they were alone and unoccupied, but it felt taboo, for the most part. Besides, anyone could walk in and neither was comfortable letting this undefined side of their relationship be a display, especially accidentally.

But when they were safely tucked away from prying eyes and accidental walk-ins, Shiro was curled up in Hunk's strong arms, enveloped by the warmth of his body, and hugged, nuzzled and cuddled to his heart's content.

Hunk had his hands resting wide and open on Shiro's back, and they were hot to the point Shiro thought his back had to be sweaty―along with his face―considering how he had it smushed up against Hunk's chest.

It was nice.

Shiro felt so calm with him, and Hunk was really understanding and patient with him; willing to do the things they did for long periods of time without complaining, and willing to set aside the necessary time.

One of Hunk's hands started moving up and down his back before he said, “I'm gonna tell Lance about us.”

Shiro stiffened, but Hunk kept moving his hand while he looked up. “Why?”

“Not to be ominously vague, but I've probably crossed a few lines. Nothing major. I just… don't know how long that's going to last. I just wanted to let you know so it’s not like I’m going behind your back, and so it doesn't come up as a bad surprise or anything.” He smiled that guilty smile and Shiro felt panic seep in.

He was being secretive, and Shiro was trying to piece things together that felt like they weren't even there to begin with.

He forced himself to relax, though.

He needed to trust Hunk. He'd been really really good for weeks now, it'd be fine.

_You can trust him._

They slept not long after, and in the morning, Hunk was gone.

  


* * *

“Lance, buddy, we have a problem.”

“What kinda problem?” 

“Shiro.”

Lance raised an eyebrow, and Hunk sat down near him on the couch, and _oh_ , yeah, the dude _wreaked_ of Shiro's scent. He had for awhile now, actually, and while he was definitely curious, he hadn't said anything, knowing whatever it was couldn't be a big deal, or else Hunk would tell him.

Looks like it's a big deal.

“Look, I don't want you to be mad at me, but I-I've been helping him. He was having a nightmare once and me and Keith heard him, so Keith had me go in and check on him, right?”

“Right?”

“And so I ended up doing kind of a lot with him? He's crazy touch starved and he seriously needs affection, dude, so I've been giving it to him. You know, hugs, cuddles, spooning, the works, because like, when I was talking with him about his nightmare? He was shaking like a leaf. A crazy muscular leaf, but _dude_.” Hunk put his hand down on the couch. “I’ll spare you the detail because it’s kind of personal _but_ ―long story short, I've been helping him for about a month and a half now and I _really _want to ask him if I can kiss him but you're my best friend and you like him and I don't want to just kiss your crush. That violates _so many_ parts of the Bro Code and I'm _not_ establishing myself as a shitty friend after so long as best friends.”__

____

The whole thing was said on about two lungfuls of air and towards the end, his voice was dying down from lack of oxygen.

Lance held up a finger, “Okay, first, that was way too much and you need to _breathe_ , dude.” Lance held up a second finger, arm coming to cross as his chest as he held up his fingers, “Thank you for telling me? And like, dude, it's totally fine. If me and him work out then we'll be a pack!” Lance peeped open an eye, “Do you _wanna_ be part of my pack?”

Hunk's arms thrust forward, palms flat and fingers spread on the surface of the couch, and with feigned enthusiasm said, “Uh, duh! Totally!”

Lance fist pumped. “Dude we’d be a killer pack!” But his words and his actions were lacking in something. The something of which Hunk identified as genuine enthusiasm.

Hunk reeled back and rested his hands on his knees and he sunk deeper into the couch. “This is kind of a mess, though. Shiro doesn't know we like him, there’s a chance he doesn’t like me back, and we both don't know if Shiro likes _you_.”

Lance groaned and dramatically threw his head against Hunk's upper arm. “Aw man, really?”

“Yeah.”

“You guys never talked about me?”

“Nah, I mean, we _did_ but like, not about how we feel. Just that he'd showed you his scars and vice-versa, _and_ that he freaked out after because he'd blanked out and was totally being weird by rubbing it, I guess?”

Lance groaned again. “I told him it was okay! I knew he wouldn't believe me! Man, what a dummy! He's a big, handsome dummy, Hunk!”

“Oh man, dude, tell me about it. You gotta like, show him, man. Like when he was freaking out about the nuzzling, I had to hold him, tell him, and show him, just like that. I nuzzled him first and we went wild.”

Lance noticed the huge smile on Hunk's face when he talked about Shiro.

It was nice. It was a nice smile, and it suited him.

Love.

Hunk was really in love with Shiro. Lance was just… infatuated? Probably?

He liked him because Shiro was smart, mature, handsome, and he understood weakness and what it was like when you were struggling with it. He was a friend and teammate now, but Shiro was also the best teacher Lance had ever had, and he respected and admired the black paladin for it.

But that distant. It wasn't real. Not like what Hunk had, and it left Lance with a hollow feeling.

All he could do to reassure himself was ask: that's what a partner was supposed to be, right? A friend, a teammate and a teacher? Obviously there were aspects that needed work, but that was because Lance was behind in the game. He didn't know Shiro as well as Hunk and Keith did now, but they could fix that.

Lance spoke to distract himself. “Are you gonna tell him?”

“That I like him?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I am. But I want to wait for the right time.”

That was admirable. “Good luck, man.”

“Thanks, dude. But also, you should try and talk to Shiro more.”

“Yeah, I know…”

Hunk ruffled his hair and Lance gently swatted his hand away.

They stayed like that for a while, Lance resting against Hunk.

Lance rubbed at his nose, pouty. This was dumb and messy. Why couldn't it just be easy? Like, obviously he'd do what it takes, but he still thought it was dumb. He sighed.

“Should I tell Shiro you're interested in him? Like, when I tell him I like him. So that way he doesn't worry about anything, especially if there are more feelings in the mix?

Lance shrugged. “Whatever you think is best, buddy.”

And he meant it.

  


* * *

  


Eventually they parted ways and Lance slunked off towards him room to go be depressed about everything in peace.

He crossed his fingers in his pockets in childish hope that it would help things work out between the three of them.

To be honest, it was a really big bummer that Hunk had spent two weeks with Shiro as it was.

He didn’t want to be a pack. He didn’t want to share Shiro, and it wasn’t as “totally fine” as he’d said it was. There was just… nothing he could do about it. And he didn’t want to make Hunk feel guilty for helping Shiro or even for liking him.

Still, though, he didn’t like it. What if Shiro really didn’t like him back and then Lance lost out to Hunk?

Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal?

Could Lance really be okay with that?

He’d kind of… have to be. For Voltron. For their friendship.

He sighed and flopped down onto his mattress.

  


* * *

  


Back in his room, Shiro was not having a good time. He was waiting for Hunk to show up as usual, and either time was going _really_ slow, or Hunk was late.

_You're panicking, stop panicking._

Shiro breathed in, threw his head back against the bed behind him and let his eyes fall closed, focusing intently on the burn of the air inside his lungs before he let himself breathe out.

That… didn't really work, so he switched to doing push ups.

They'd help him feel the burn, and later, sleep better... hopefully.

Soon enough, Hunk came in and the first thing out of his mouth was, “You're probably anxious,” and then he stopped to take in Shiro doing push ups.

“Bit of an understatement.” He breathed out and dropped down.

“Crap, okay, yeah, uhm,” Hunk went around him and sat on the bed, “Do you wanna stop, maybe?”

Shiro shook his head.

Okay, so he was coping. “Right, well... I needed to tell Lance because for one thing, he likes you.”

Shiro kept going, but his face had contorted into an unreadable expression.

“But that wasn't really the point, see, 'cause you know how like, it's pretty fucked up if your friend likes someone and then you like them too so then you like, kissed or dated them behind their back? Yeah.”

Shiro abruptly stopped and turned to him, crisscross applesauce.

“I didn't want to say I was telling Lance yesterday,” Hunk played with his hands in his lap, too afraid to look at Shiro as he said outright, “I-I wanted to ask if I could kiss you, but I didn't wanna be a jerk to Lance.”

“Hunk―”

“But like, I get if you don’t want to keep doing this now that you know I like you? Or if you like me back but you don’t want me to date right now, or even if like, you’re okay with Lance but not really so much with me, because―Oh God, this is going downhill so quickly.” Hunk buried his face in his hands, taking comfort in not having to see Shiro's face and Shiro not being able to see his either.

“Hunk…” Shiro reached out and touched his knee. “It’s okay. I like him Lance as a person but I don’t know if I actually _like_ him?” Shiro sighed through his nose, “When you all first helped me get away from the Garrison, I was so fixated on needing an alpha to protect me and help me feel better that I kept overthinking things with him. With you, it’s helped? My head is clearer, but I’m afraid of it being too much of a dynamic attraction, among other things, I guess...” Shiro put his head in Hunk’s lap.

“Is that illogical? To reject him for the same reason we have what we have?”

Hunk gulped, “I-I don’t know. I think… there’s a difference between illogical and what you personally feel is right for you? I mean that without bias. I assume your problem is that you feel personally forced by your status as an omega to like Lance because he’s what you feel like you need? An ideal? And this is just the product of me being in the right place at the right time with right capabilities.”

Shiro had pointedly ignored addressing the kiss and Hunk’s chest tightened, despite the fact that his hand went to Shiro’s hair and his fingers carded through the strands. “Lance is a good guy. We’ve all got issues, but we’re all growing too. I keep telling him to talk to you more because it’d be good for both of you, but he’s kind of awkward around people he looks up to. To him you’re like, a perfect example of all the things he wants to be, and he’s got some self-esteem issues, but like I said, he’s working on it.”

Shiro’s only acknowledgment of his words was a thoughtful, “Mmm.”

Shiro’s hand massaged Hunk’s thigh and gave it a rough up and down rub before he said, “About the kissing thing, though―”

Hunk cut him off, “If you don’t want to kiss, it’s okay! What we’re doing now is fine, it doesn’t have to be more.”

Shiro looked up at him, Hunk’s hand still in his hair, and a mildly frustrated expression gracing his facial features. “I was going to say I’d love it if you would kiss me.”

Hunk blushed, “O-Oh, yeah, okay!”

Shiro’s face relaxed and he leaned up, hesitating as he looked into Hunk’s eyes and then down at his lips before finally leaning in.

Hunk's plumper lips met Shiro's thinner ones and they worked against each other, Hunk's hands coming up to hold Shiro's cheeks as they kissed.

It was warm, and soft, and the pressure between them felt amazing, but all too soon, they had to pull apart. A small “wow” in awe from Hunk really added to the moment in a way Shiro couldn’t explain. Shiro's eyes were half-lidded, mind in some sort of haze as he panted softly.

Hunk stroked his cheeks with his thumbs until the fog in Shiro's eyes cleared.

“Thank you.” 

Hunk looked at him curiously.

“Thank you for everything, I'm sorry.”

“Sorry?”

Shiro shook his head, apparently choosing _now_ to internalize his feelings, and Hunk scoffed softly, pulling the omega into his lap.

“Hey, we've talked about this. Having omegan needs doesn't make you any less of the leader our team needs. You're a great leader,” Hunk kissed him with only a bit of hesitance on the cheek, “a great guy,” another kiss, this time on the neck, “and a great omega too.” He kissed him one last time on the lips and let Shiro rest against him.

Shiro seemed doubtful, but he buried his face in Hunk's stomach and let a hand grab at the excess of the betas shirt.

“I really want you to be able to be confident in yourself as a leader and as an omega, Shiro.”

Shiro grunted into his stomach.

“Hey,” he tutted. He gently rolled Shiro so that his face was exposed.

“I said I know… It's just…”

“Hard, I know. It'll take time, but you also have to learn to give it time. It'd be great to instantly feel better, and it sucks, but that's not how things work. But you know that. I just want you to know that no one in this castle will tell you they think you're a bad leader. You're doing great, Shiro.”

The black paladin’s face was downcast. “Thanks…”

Instead of responding, though, Hunk only smoothed a hand down Shiro's face and to the juncture of his mate's neck so that he could massage the scent gland there. The effects were immediate, as Shiro melted in his arms, practically boneless, what with how pliant his body became. 

Shiro purred in contentment in his arms as Hunk kept going, working over it well with his thumb in small, pressured circles. Hunk held him close when he finished and wished the universe could somehow grant him just one solid.

As Shiro started to fall asleep, Hunk thought back to Lance.

He felt bad for falling for Shiro the way that he did, knowing how Lance felt, but honestly, he didn’t want to be a pack, and he wasn’t sure if Lance would really be a good fit for Shiro or not.

Had he always doubted him like this? Or was this because of how things are now?

Guilt twisted in his gut and Hunk let his eyes close.

  


* * *

  


In the morning, Hunk woke up to Shiro doing pushups, which was pretty standard at this point. He’d rarely woken up to Shiro still gooey soft at his side.

He wiped the sleep from his eyes and moved to sit up, crossing his legs. “Shiro, is it okay to talk to you about something?”

His boyfriend looked up at him and nodded, moving to join him on the bed and easily curling up at his side.

Hunk wrapped an arm around him and looked ahead of him to where the floor met the wall. “I want to ask… Do you _actually_ see yourself dating Lance?”

Shiro seemed hesitant to answer, but finally responded, “No. I don’t.”

Hunk nodded and let his head rest on Shiro’s.

“Okay. I don’t know, I’m just… I love Lance, y’know? He’s my best friend. He’s like a brother, even, but that’s kind of it, I guess? I know him really well and… I know what I don’t like about him at this point. Like, he can be nice, yeah? But he’s also the type of dude who cuts me off when I’m talking about something he thinks is boring, or―or fights with Keith because of his own feelings of inferiority. Keith doesn’t even do anything to him? But Lance is so…”

He didn’t want to finish the sentence. Didn’t even know how to, really.

Upon the very thought about not knowing how to finish the sentence, his brain filled in choice words.

Immature. Petty. Superficial. Rude.

The guilt gripped him tighter.

“I think I understand? And it’s okay… you don’t really need to explain yourself.” Shiro shifted so he was sitting more upright but still leaning against Hunk. “That’s part of it, I guess? Why I don’t want to date him. I’ve seen and admire his strengths, but I can’t handle his weaknesses. I can reprimand him and steer him in the right direction, but there are some things I can’t just set aside, like how he provokes Keith. And one of my problems is that I don’t know what to do about it. Lock them in a closet and make them talk it out? I don’t know Lance well enough to coerce him into something like that, and what’s more, I’m afraid that even if I tried it, it wouldn’t work. I’d be putting Keith into a hostile situation.

“I’d ask for Keith’s consent, of course, but… I guess I’m overprotective. I don’t want to put him in a place where someone could potentially just lash out at him.” Shiro gripped onto Hunk tighter, “Do you remember when Allura was captured and we were trying to decide whether we should save her or not, and Keith thought it was a bad idea?”

“Yeah, I was worried he’d leave me behind if I were in her place.”

“Yeah… well, Lance had told Keith he was only thinking of himself because he was too scared to do what was right. Do you remember that, too?”

Hunk winced, “Yeah, I remember that too.”

Shiro nodded. “That cut Keith deeper than I think he realizes. When we went to the Blade of Marmora, they had him in this suit that created this… mindscape, I think they called it? Basically, there was a projection of me on this screen that Keith was interacting with but he was… different. He told Keith to give up his knife and his past because he was a paladin, and we were the only family he needed. I don’t believe any of those things, but Keith seemed to be afraid I’d say that to him? Or maybe he was just plastering his fears to my face because he wanted to see me but he couldn’t help how he felt at the time, but… the projection told him he was only thinking of himself, as usual and that’s―”

“Exactly what Lance had said to him…” Hunk hugged Shiro tighter.

“I don’t know if it’s related? It could just be coincidence but… God, I don’t know. It’s been bothering me for so long.”

Hunk understood.

“I getcha, buddy…” Hunk nuzzled against Shiro and gave him a quick kiss on the neck. “Do you want to eat something? The teludav should be done soon and then it’ll be time to start the mission.”

Shiro nodded and kissed him on the lips before extracting himself from Hunk’s arms and stretching.

It struck Hunk how beautiful Shiro is.

That never really changed, but there was something so removed and domestic about seeing him stretch himself in the middle of Hunk’s room―in what he could only assume was the morning―after sleeping together the way that they did.

If he wasn’t afraid of wasting more time, he might have put his hands on Shiro’s hips and kissed his neck. He might have taken the time to kiss him dizzy and drill it in just how much he loves him before they go.

But the clock was ticking and they’d wasted enough time. So, he followed Shiro out and into the hallway, and they started their routines in preparation for the day they’d finally take down Zarkon.

  


* * *

  


When they opened the cockpit to find Shiro missing, the world collapsed around him for a split-second.

And then Hunk picked up the pieces, with no way to put them back together, and hugged Keith as hard as he could without hurting him.

“We’ll get him back.”

It was less of a promise and more of a hope.

**Author's Note:**

> im sporting a new pseud (previously i was thatdankkoushi) but im still [@dogmemes420](https://twitter.com/dogmemes420) on twitter, if you can dig it!


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